Bapjabnig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable dog.

Bapjabnig created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Bapjabnig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bapjabnig, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bapjabnig's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bapjabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Bapjabnig.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bapjabnig.
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