Bapdapwat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, benevolent giraffe.

Bapdapwat created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Bapdapwat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bapdapwat, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bapdapwat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bapdapwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Bapdapwat loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.