Dissbun is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, tranquil narwhal.

Dissbun created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissbun, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dissbun, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dissbun's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dissbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Run away from orange dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to otters while wearing purple trousers.