Nartfitsat is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, emotional raccoon.

Nartfitsat created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartfitsat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nartfitsat, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nartfitsat's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Nartfitsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. You must never eat wheat.