Bappopaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, pitiless penguin.

Bappopaf created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bappopaf, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bappopaf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bappopaf's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bappopaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tapirs in need.

2. Never feed peanuts to capybaras while wearing ear rings.

3. Do not take Bappopaf's name in vain.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never pour water over plants.