Tenarmcip is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, conceited scorpion.

Tenarmcip created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Tenarmcip, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenarmcip, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tenarmcip's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tenarmcip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Worship no other gods but Tenarmcip.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.