Hitkipdum is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, merciless weasel.

Hitkipdum created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkipdum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hitkipdum, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Hitkipdum's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hitkipdum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Hitkipdum on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hitkipdum.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.