Farncudgil is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, clever unicorn.

Farncudgil created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farncudgil, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farncudgil, she will turn you into a mouse.

Farncudgil's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Farncudgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near great tits while wearing mauve rings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your back.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never hurt snails.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Farncudgil loves pigs, so they must be honoured.