Rotnibfengat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, omniscient crab.

Rotnibfengat created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotnibfengat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rotnibfengat, she will turn you into a puffin.

Rotnibfengat's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Rotnibfengat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never sing in the presence of mice.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never feed oranges to hamsters while wearing shirts.