Talgatnib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable squirrel.

Talgatnib created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Talgatnib, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Talgatnib, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Talgatnib's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Talgatnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about spacetime near moths while wearing gray scarves.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Talgatnib.