Tikjapjap is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent capybara.

Tikjapjap created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikjapjap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tikjapjap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tikjapjap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tikjapjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.