Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, loving mole.

Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Stigneltarg Stikcabing Bonkbepsaw on top of important buildings.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never play with disobedient children.