Rulkinvonbanpoghan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, impressive wolf.

Rulkinvonbanpoghan created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulkinvonbanpoghan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rulkinvonbanpoghan, it will turn you into a mouse.

Rulkinvonbanpoghan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Rulkinvonbanpoghan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Rulkinvonbanpoghan loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.