Nutbegcat Lopliksad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unfair bear.

Nutbegcat Lopliksad created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Nutbegcat Lopliksad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nutbegcat Lopliksad, he will turn you into a rock.

Nutbegcat Lopliksad's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nutbegcat Lopliksad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect six silver sculptures of Nutbegcat Lopliksad on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nutbegcat Lopliksad.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Nutbegcat Lopliksad on top of all buildings.