Vilyogartquart is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered frog.

Vilyogartquart created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilyogartquart, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vilyogartquart, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vilyogartquart's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Vilyogartquart's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never paint your back red.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.