Ripvigsandceb Zimnartqueegjab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental skunk.

Ripvigsandceb Zimnartqueegjab created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripvigsandceb Zimnartqueegjab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ripvigsandceb Zimnartqueegjab, it will cry a lot.

Ripvigsandceb Zimnartqueegjab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ripvigsandceb Zimnartqueegjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of strawberries to grasshopers while wearing black boots.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not sprint in public.