Pakbodzan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonest lobster.

Pakbodzan created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakbodzan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pakbodzan, he will send you a sign.

Pakbodzan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pakbodzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.