Davtettibemvagartjipham Cepbonyik is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, all-knowing sheep.

Davtettibemvagartjipham Cepbonyik created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davtettibemvagartjipham Cepbonyik, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Davtettibemvagartjipham Cepbonyik, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Davtettibemvagartjipham Cepbonyik's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Davtettibemvagartjipham Cepbonyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Run away from gray capybaras, for they are unholy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.