Bogjambab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, ruthless hydra.

Bogjambab created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Bogjambab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bogjambab, it will make you grow a tail.

Bogjambab's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bogjambab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never paint your head red.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.