Lanbutfen Baphadged is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome naga.

Lanbutfen Baphadged created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanbutfen Baphadged, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lanbutfen Baphadged, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lanbutfen Baphadged's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Lanbutfen Baphadged's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.