Sadbif is a god.

He takes the form of a large, unsympathetic bat.

Sadbif created life five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadbif, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sadbif, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Sadbif's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sadbif's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always wear black.

3. Never paint your neck mauve.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help pigs in need.