Bidnatyart is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, happy otter.

Bidnatyart created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidnatyart, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bidnatyart, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bidnatyart's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bidnatyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Bidnatyart loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not chant in public.