Zakbogarf is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud owl.

Zakbogarf created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakbogarf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zakbogarf, she will think nothing of it.

Zakbogarf's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zakbogarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Feed all hungry capybaras.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.