Likpinwad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, duplicitous penguin.

Likpinwad created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Likpinwad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Likpinwad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Likpinwad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Likpinwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill doves.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Likpinwad loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed tomatoes to aardvarks while wearing skirts.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.