Wityogxen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humane seal.

Wityogxen created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wityogxen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wityogxen, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wityogxen's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Wityogxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear magenta kilts.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Pray towards the west.