Flapbaggep Getlakdut is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever elephant.

Flapbaggep Getlakdut created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flapbaggep Getlakdut, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flapbaggep Getlakdut, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flapbaggep Getlakdut's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flapbaggep Getlakdut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta tortoises for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flapbaggep Getlakdut.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.