Dumbestbass is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, competent mole.

Dumbestbass created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumbestbass, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dumbestbass, he will turn you into a rock.

Dumbestbass' most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dumbestbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near frogs while wearing mauve skirts and balancing three silver spheres on your chest.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Never paint your head orange.