Bepzenmip Bastquimlan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident gerbil.

Bepzenmip Bastquimlan created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepzenmip Bastquimlan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bepzenmip Bastquimlan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bepzenmip Bastquimlan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bepzenmip Bastquimlan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bepzenmip Bastquimlan.

3. You must love Bepzenmip Bastquimlan.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bepzenmip Bastquimlan.

5. Always obey Bepzenmip Bastquimlan's priests.