Bed is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient salamander.

Bed created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bed, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bed, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bed's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bed's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Bed on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always stare at clouds.