Tigtailpag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish rhinoceros.

Tigtailpag created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigtailpag, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tigtailpag, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tigtailpag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Tigtailpag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always help horses in need.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to doves while wearing fawn boots.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near moths while wearing white dresses and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Tigtailpag in the centre of the settlement.