Vaggatman is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent gorilla.

Vaggatman created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vaggatman, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vaggatman, she will be mildly annoyed.

Vaggatman's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vaggatman's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Vaggatman must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect six silicon sculptures of Vaggatman on top of important buildings.