Gumarmgil is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, duplicitous bird.

Gumarmgil created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumarmgil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gumarmgil, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gumarmgil's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gumarmgil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not take Gumarmgil's name in vain.

5. Never talk about fire.