Cusspidfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving pigeon.

Cusspidfoss created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusspidfoss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cusspidfoss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cusspidfoss' most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cusspidfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Always help whales in need.