Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced bird.

Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid, she will turn you into a mouse.

Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid's name in vain.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Erect five copper sculptures of Flatvonknarl Fossbonkgid on top of important buildings.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.