Rullvinrip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage bird.

Rullvinrip created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullvinrip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rullvinrip, she will turn you into a duck.

Rullvinrip's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Rullvinrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of corn to pigs while wearing yellow hats.

2. Never think about gravity near aardvarks while wearing cyan kilts and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

3. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.