Zakton is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, contented faun.

Zakton created the Andromeda Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakton, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zakton, he will turn you into a puffin.

Zakton's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zakton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near mites while wearing blue stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Respect your elders.