Flabriphon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonourable raven.

Flabriphon created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabriphon, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flabriphon, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flabriphon's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Flabriphon's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.