Jatgepsawvegtabsin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing jellyfish.

Jatgepsawvegtabsin created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jatgepsawvegtabsin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jatgepsawvegtabsin, it will make you grow a tail.

Jatgepsawvegtabsin's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jatgepsawvegtabsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill bats.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Jatgepsawvegtabsin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.