Arpvedciss is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless goblin.

Arpvedciss created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arpvedciss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Arpvedciss, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Arpvedciss' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Arpvedciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think ill of sick ducks.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpvedciss.