Hakbetmot is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured penguin.

Hakbetmot created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakbetmot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hakbetmot, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hakbetmot's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Hakbetmot's Holy Commandments

1. Hakbetmot loves rats, so they must be honoured.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not hurt sheep.

5. Hide if seven bats approach from the south.