Zimbellstig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, intelligent narwhal.

Zimbellstig created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimbellstig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zimbellstig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zimbellstig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Zimbellstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Hide if five turtles approach from the south.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Zimbellstig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.