Nuttyarptab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, compassionate crocodile.

Nuttyarptab created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttyarptab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttyarptab, she will refuse to believe in you.

Nuttyarptab's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nuttyarptab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ducks.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Run away from red doves, for they are unholy.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always look after injured tapirs.