Godgemgudquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ruthless bat.

Godgemgudquaf created carbon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Godgemgudquaf, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Godgemgudquaf, she will make you grow a tail.

Godgemgudquaf's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Godgemgudquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never feed wheat to eagles while wearing pink shirts.

5. Godgemgudquaf loves snails, so they must be respected.