Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental jaguar.

Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Dapcitwadyarlquimpagbegwap on top of all buildings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.