Arpdonkentofhimlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, almighty skunk.

Arpdonkentofhimlarp created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpdonkentofhimlarp, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Arpdonkentofhimlarp, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Arpdonkentofhimlarp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Arpdonkentofhimlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Do not take Arpdonkentofhimlarp's name in vain.