Lognurtvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, moody swallow.

Lognurtvonk created vertebrates three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lognurtvonk, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lognurtvonk, it will be very unhappy.

Lognurtvonk's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Lognurtvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lognurtvonk.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Do not take Lognurtvonk's name in vain.

5. Never think about stars.