Cedsakbell is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered newt.

Cedsakbell created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedsakbell, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedsakbell, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cedsakbell's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cedsakbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Cedsakbell loves foxes, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed onions to tortoises while wearing white shirts.