Jarnarnfab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest donkey.

Jarnarnfab created light two years ago.

If you believe in Jarnarnfab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jarnarnfab, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jarnarnfab's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jarnarnfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Do not cook food in pots.