Dudhitlamdib is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless spider.

Dudhitlamdib created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudhitlamdib, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dudhitlamdib, he will turn you into a worm.

Dudhitlamdib's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Dudhitlamdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of turtles.

2. Never wear blue jumpers.

3. Do not take Dudhitlamdib's name in vain.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Never talk about fire.