Wabfatkik is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, effective jackal.

Wabfatkik created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabfatkik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabfatkik, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wabfatkik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wabfatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Wabfatkik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wabfatkik.

5. Never write about nebulae.